Thursday, May 29, 2008

Completely Bald White Guys Musical Addendum

Michael Stipe

(Special nod to my homeboy from back home, Scott, for pointing out this omission. R.E.M. has always been one of my favorite bands and the exclusion of Stipe from the initial list was my bad.)

CBWG Pros: Tons of good songs. An increasingly snappy dresser. Friend to Mario Batali, whose food looks tasty. Has Mike Mills on harmony.
CBWG Cons: Weak-tea political content. "Elliptical" lyrics frequently mush. Long flirtation with questionable makeup choices.

Billy Corgan

CBWG Pros: Siamese Dream still mostly stands up! Of course, he had hair when he recorded that one.
CBWG Cons: Creepy little megolomaniacal troll. "Poetic" lyrics about as awful as awful gets. Zwan?

That guy from Midnight Oil

CBWG Pros: Midnight Oil was apparently a pretty big deal in their native Australia. I do like the one song I know about everyone's beds burning. Also, this guy is apparently now the Australian Minister for Environment, Heritage and Arts!
CBWG Cons: Can't think of any. This guy looks like a contender!


Jerry Fugit said...

You are forgetting the ultimate bald badass, Curtis:

G. Gordon Liddy, biotch.

Graham said...

Mr. Clean. Zinedine Zidane. Ben Kingsley (Sexy Beast). Story Musgrove. Paul Schaffer. Winston Churchill. Anthony Edwards. Pim Fortuyn. Michael Berryman.

Graham said...

Michael Chiklis!!!

John said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
John said...

Andre Agassi. Obadiah Stane. Stone Cold Steve Austin. Professor Farnsworth.

Farah said...

National Treasure was on NBC tonight. I poured out some of my 40 for you. xoxo