Saturday, April 26, 2008

Ported and Ready to 'Mo

The port is in. I have been testing it at home, injecting and extracting fluids into and from my body all day.

INJECTIONS: Olive oil, mustard, dish soap, baking soda, bacon grease, angel dust.

RESULTS: Feelin' great!

EXTRACTIONS: Blood, mostly.

RESULTS: A little light-headed.

There's only today and tomorrow standing between me and chemotherapy. While I'm not looking forward to feeling like I have a nine-week hangover, I am eager to kick this fucking cancer right in the balls. (Tit for tat!) There's wireless internet in the infusion room, so I pledge to report diligently on how I'm feeling.

In the meantime, you should spend twenty minutes laughing your ass off at this superb and hilarious effort.


Ellen said...

What a coincidence: whenever I eat at Popeye's, I feel like I just injected bacon grease into my Port-a-Cath.

Dano said...

Those comics are awesome!